Ask Jonathan Anything: Adoption Isn’t Just Paperwork, It’s a Lifelong Promise

Jonathan Breeden: [00:00:00] On this week’s episode of The Best of Johnston County Podcast, we’re doing a special edition episode that we like to call Ask Jonathan Breeden Anything. And on today’s episode, we’re gonna talk a little bit about stepparent adoptions and adoptions in general. So if you’ve ever wondered who can adopt, how you adopt, how long it takes.

What paperwork might be necessary to adopt and what are the legal ramifications if you’re successful in adopting a child? Listen in.

Welcome to another episode of Best of Johnston County, brought to you by Breeden Law Office. Our host, Jonathan Breeden, an experienced family lawyer with a deep connection to the community, is ready to take you on a journey through the area that he has called home for over 20 years. Whether it’s a deep dive into the love locals have for the county or unraveling the complexities of family law, Best of Johnston County presents an authentic slice of this unique community.

Jonathan Breeden: Hello and welcome to another edition of The [00:01:00] Best of Johnston County Podcast. I’m your host, Jonathan Breeden, and on today’s episode, we’re having a special edition episode that we like to call Ask Jonathan Breeden Anything. And in these episodes, our social media coordinator, Raena Burch. Ask me Jonathan Breeden questions about varying family law topics that we deal with at the Breeden Law Office every single day and have now for over 25 years.

Today’s episode is going to be about adoptions, different types of adoptions, and some of the basic procedures that go in. To each of the different adoptions that there are. But before we get into that, I’d like to ask you to like, follow, subscribe to this podcast wherever you see it, whether it be on Apple, YouTube, TikTok, LinkedIn or any of the other social media channels, or The Best of Johnston County Podcast.

The Best of Johnston County Podcast comes out every single Monday and has now for well over two years. We’re well over a hundred episodes now and we continue to keep bringing you this great content as on most episodes, I, Jonathan Breeden, [00:02:00] interview interesting community leaders, small business owners.

Nonprofits and just people I find interesting in around Johnston County. And every once in a while we do these special edition episodes where I answer family law questions. Golly, I am, I am tired. I’ve come back from a weekend

Raena Burch: getting ready to go on vacation.

Jonathan Breeden: I know I came

Raena Burch: elsewhere.

Jonathan Breeden: Right?

I know I came back from a weekend of travel sports for anybody that’s into that. And you

Raena Burch: love, you do love

Jonathan Breeden: sports, right? No, I do love sports. So anyway. So, all right, so we’re talking about adoptions.

Raena Burch: We are gonna talk about adoptions because I know a lot of the episodes and a lot of what we’ve worked with here is not always happy all the time, right? It’s contentious. It’s a hard time that people are going through, but adoptions is kind of one of the bright lights that we do get to deal with here.

Jonathan Breeden: It is probably the happiest thing.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: That and sometimes guardianships too.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: And you know. You’re protecting, you’ve gotten somebody protection who can’t protect themselves.

Raena Burch: Exactly. Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: But the rest of the time it’s often there are no winners.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Oftentimes in family law, unfortunately.

Raena Burch: Yeah, [00:03:00] exactly. And I would like to point out that adoptions, I mean, we usually deal with, obviously adoptions for children, but you can adopt an adult too.

Jonathan Breeden: Right? We’ve done some adult adoption.

Raena Burch: You can do that. Which I think is always, usually when that happens, it’s always a really happy thing.

Jonathan Breeden: Right, right. Well, right. Most adoptions are happy

Raena Burch: most of the time.

Jonathan Breeden: Yeah. Yeah.

Raena Burch: Okay, so the first question is, what is the difference between stepparent adoption, relative adoption and agency adoption?

Jonathan Breeden: Okay, well, an agency adoption is when an adoption agency sort of arranges and does everything. The adoption agency, they will often get the parents’ consent. They will work on getting the rights terminated. They will get an attorney, they will sort of line everything up.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: And hopefully it goes smoothly.

Raena Burch: Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Breeden: And they’ll help get the home study, you know.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: They’ll, most of the time the agencies like to work with consenting parents.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: Where you have two parents consenting, or you have [00:04:00] one parent consenting and the father may be unknown.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Or something like that. A stepparent adoption is probably the most common type of adoption that we do here.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: At the Breeden Law office. And that is where somebody who is married to the child’s parent, whether it be the child’s father or mother. And they’ve been married at least six months. I mean, how many times do we.

Raena Burch: Good to know.

Jonathan Breeden: I mean, oh my goodness. Like how many times do we do consults where they come in and say, well, I want my boyfriend to adopt my child, and I’m like. You’re gonna have to get married and you have to be married for at least six months.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: And to be able to do it. But yeah, so if you’re married to one of the child’s parents and you have been married at least six months and you have acted as a parent and you have a parent childlike relationship with the child and if the child is over the age of 12, they have to consent to the adoption.

Raena Burch: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Jonathan Breeden: That’s interesting, right?

Raena Burch: That is. Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: [00:05:00] Then you can apply and the client is actually the parent seeking to adopt. So oftentimes, you know, mom and stepdad will come in here together but we’re actually only representing the stepfather.

Right. Who’s doing the adoption and he’s what you would consider to be in that scenario, the petitioner, he is gonna petition the court to adopt the child. Now, adoptions are done before the clerk of court, not in front of a district court judge, unless they get. Complicated and serious legal issues come up.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: And that kind of stuff. Then the elected clerk of court can transfer the case to district court for some hearings, evidentiary type hearings.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: That they won’t conducted there. But I’ve only had one adoption in my career end up, well, two end up in district court. So,

Raena Burch: it’s rare doesn’t

Jonathan Breeden: Right. It’s right. So it’s mainly before the clerk, clerk of court, and. [00:06:00] In Wake County, you’re dealing with assistant clerks of court.

Raena Burch: Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Breeden: Not the elected clerk of court. Yeah. Right now, I guess the clerk of court in Wake County is appointed, but she’ll be running for election. The clerk that was there resigned and became a district court judge.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: So yeah, so, so that’s who’s ultimately in charge of this. And these,

Raena Burch: and then there’s relative adoption

Jonathan Breeden: and then there’s relative adoptions. Right. Okay. Which is similar to a stepparent adoption except it’s a relative or it could be, or it could be a, it could be anybody could, I mean, at that point,

Raena Burch: a neighbor.

Jonathan Breeden: Right? It could be a neighbor. I mean, we’ve represented, I, I did one a few years ago where the woman’s employer adopted the child.

Raena Burch: Oh, wow.

Jonathan Breeden: She worked, she lady owned a tanning bed. Place, one of the people who worked at the tanning bed place you know, was not able to take care of the child, and so her employer adopted the child.

So yeah. So really or any or really anybody else for that matter. Which is the way most agency adopters are just the agency not doing it, so, right. So anyway, but the main [00:07:00] thing is to be able to adopt a child. You need to have a parent childlike relationship

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: With the child. You know, or the agencies are a little different, but.

Raena Burch: Yeah. And also agency.

Jonathan Breeden: No, I mean, of course. Right. I mean, you know, you’re talking about some of the agency adoptions. You don’t, because those are often the infants and stuff like that.

Raena Burch: Yeah. And agency can also mean foster care.

Jonathan Breeden: That’s true, right?

Raena Burch: Like it doesn’t have to be a private business. It can also be like foster care acts as an agency for adoptions.

Jonathan Breeden: Well, that’s the County and the State, right.

Raena Burch: It comes to that.

Jonathan Breeden: Correct. Correct. And that’s gets real complicated.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Right.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: So we won’t get into all that, but so yeah. So really, so the ones we deal with primarily are stepparent adoptions or relative adoption. Grandma or grandpa.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, that kind of stuff.

Raena Burch: Aunts, uncles.

Jonathan Breeden: Aunts, uncles.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, people that have, you know, that care about this child and want what’s best for the child. I mean, we did one a few years ago where the parents passed away. And we did an adoption for the dad’s girlfriend. And so she had been living with the child, taking care of the [00:08:00] child when dad passed away. And so, we did that for her and that was really good for that little girl.

Raena Burch: But it’s nice she didn’t, I mean, for that child they didn’t have to move schools or change.

Jonathan Breeden: Correct, correct.

Raena Burch: Meet new friends or

Jonathan Breeden: That’s right. That’s right.

Raena Burch: Case sounds like best case scenario.

Jonathan Breeden: No, it really, it really was.

Raena Burch: A tragedy.

Jonathan Breeden: Right. In a, in a tragic situation.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Correct, correct. And we’ve done grandparents stuff like that.

Raena Burch: Yep. All right. Next question. What are the legal requirements in North Carolina for terminating a biological parent’s rights before an adoption can be finalized if the biological parent doesn’t consent?

Jonathan Breeden: Yeah. I mean, there’s probably 20 or 25 things in the statute.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, you want,

Raena Burch: Is there checklist somewhere?

Jonathan Breeden: Right. Well, if you wanna look it up, the statute is NCGS 7B-1111. But the ones that are the most common are abandonment or they never actually that, which means they’ve either never met the child, they’ve had no contact with the child. The child doesn’t know who they are. You know what I mean? You also have where people have never [00:09:00] legitimated the child. By marrying the mother or getting their name on the birth certificate.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Or any of that. Another one is if you under a child support order and you don’t provide any support.

Raena Burch: I was gonna say that’s a big one. It’s not the only thing you need though.

Jonathan Breeden: Right.

Raena Burch: But it does add to it.

Jonathan Breeden: But right, but that’s in the statute as well.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Child abuse if the child’s been abused by that other parent that, you know, and it relies us to a certain level, that can be grounds as well. But the most common one, the one that we see 98% of the time when we’re doing a stepparent adoption or we’re doing an adoption for a family member is abandonment. And it’s where the parent either. Maybe didn’t know they were a parent or just is not involved has never been involved. We often don’t know where this person is.

And we have to try to hire private eyes to try to find them and that kind of stuff. So those are the, that’s the biggest one. Sometimes you get ’em on the failing to [00:10:00] pay support, providing support.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: For the child, stuff like that. But yeah, so those are some of the reasons you know, there’s commit a murder. I mean, there’s a whole bunch of ’em.

Raena Burch: Yeah. But they’re in jail for an extended period of time.

Jonathan Breeden: Right, right.

Raena Burch:They can’t be a parent

Jonathan Breeden: Right. They’re gonna be in jail for 15 or 20 years.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: We did one of those not long ago.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: But yeah, so right by the time they got out, the child was gonna be 30.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: Or something like that. I mean, right. So that kind of stuff.

Raena Burch: And I think, if I remember correctly, if they, if the biological parent who owes supports, like signs away their rights and say, yeah, you can adopt a child. Do they still owe that back pay or,

Jonathan Breeden: They do. They actually, but you can negotiate that

Raena Burch: and say you don’t. If you agree.

Jonathan Breeden: If you agree. Right, right. And so, right. But in a lot of situations, if we don’t have abandonment, which is the most common, the second most common is the other parent just consents.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: They understand They’re not involved. They don’t wanna pay child support. The child support agency is chasing them to every job they’ve got.

Raena Burch: Or their, their wages are getting garnished,

Jonathan Breeden: their wages are getting garnished. If the agency can [00:11:00] find it.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: They’re getting served with show causes where they’re facing jail for not paying child support. And we can give them an out and say, Hey look, you’ll just consent. You don’t have an ongoing child support obligation.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: And so that sometimes works for us as well.

Raena Burch: Yes. All right. So number three, for families considering stepparent adoption, what documentation or evidence does the court look for to show that the parent has a meaningful, established relationship with the child?

Jonathan Breeden: I mean, they wanna look at how long they’ve lived together. They wanna look at the role that stepparent has played in the child’s life. You know, is the stepparent involved in the child’s schooling and.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: If it’s aware of the child’s medical conditions, if there are any is the stepparent involved in the child’s religious upbringing, stuff like that. You know, how does the child interact with the parent? Does the child see the stepparent sort of as a parent.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: And respect that role for the parent. And most of that comes out of the home study that the [00:12:00] court is going to require.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Almost every single, I mean, there’s a statute that says we’ve lived together for two years. The court could waive the home study. They’re not waiving home studies. Not anymore. Not after. We had that situation in Johnston County a few years ago where the kids got adopted and then. They, one of ’em ended up dying that, you know, they’re not doing that now.

Raena Burch: So, yeah. They’re not taking not taking any chances anymore.

Jonathan Breeden: Right. Right. There’s gonna be a home study. And so part of what, a lot what I’m talking about is gonna be in the home study, because the home study is gonna be a comprehensive review of the house, of the arrangements, who lives there, the relationship with the parties

Raena Burch: finances?

Jonathan Breeden: In most, right. In most all stepparent adoptions. There is already a biological child between the stepparent and the parent. And so this child’s just gonna become fully whole, like the other child that’s already there.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: That’s not every case, but in most of them, the parent and the stepparent have a child together. This child is there. This [00:13:00] child’s father is MIA. Nobody knows where they’re at. They’re not paying support, they’re not around, they’re not acting as a father. They have no desire to be one, basically.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: So that’s kind of what you’re gonna see and a good home study. Is gonna cover all of that. They’re gonna look at, you know, where the child sleeps.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, you know that, that kind of stuff, so

Raena Burch: Yeah. If you’re, if you’re financially providing for them it’s photos, videos, you know? Correct.

Jonathan Breeden: Almost like you were having a custody hearing.

Raena Burch: Exactly.

Jonathan Breeden: And, and, you know, and the home settings can be done by a social worker most of the time, an LCSW, and they’re gonna, they, they know what they’re looking for. They know what the court’s looking for. They know how to, to write these things. And so it ends up working out fairly well. And so if, if, I mean, if you’ve done those things, you’ve been the parent basically, and usually it’s for years and years and years. I know six months of requirement, but like I’m talking about mostly

Raena Burch: six months is a little

Jonathan Breeden: Right. Most of the cases we’ve done, I mean, I don’t know how long they’ve been, I mean they’ve been married at least six months, but like

Raena Burch: Yeah,

Jonathan Breeden: they’ve been together 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 [00:14:00] years.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: They got together when the child was three or four. The child’s now 12, like, you know, they’ve been in this for a long time because here’s the thing. I know this is one of the questions you’re gonna get to in a minute, but once that adoption is through that child, is that step parent’s child?

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: They’re, they’re no longer the stepparent. They are the father, they are the mother. And we’ve done some for moms too. Now. I, you know, a lot of ’em are from em, but like we’ve, we’ve done

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Our share of stepparent adoptions for stepmom’s, just like we’ve done for, we’ve a lot more stepdads, but we’ve done two or three stepmom’s as well.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, that have stepped in to, to help. To help raise these kids. And so, but that kid’s gonna become that parent’s child. And, and we actually did one a few years ago where we did the adoption and then the relationship didn’t work out and the stepparent, now new dad actually got full custody of that child.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: And probably should have looking at the facts, but, so, I mean, but Right. But which also means, and, and one of the things we, and, and I’ve had this [00:15:00] discussion with many men sitting in my office and I watched them gulp because the wife is sitting right there. You owe child support. If it doesn’t work out that child is your, that child inherits from you unless you have a will that says otherwise.

Under the intestate laws, they are your child. There’s a new birth certificate issued.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, and your name is on it. And so,

Raena Burch: the child doesn’t have to change their name

Jonathan Breeden: Correct.

Raena Burch: If they don’t want to, right?

Jonathan Breeden: Right, well, the parents decide.

Raena Burch: The parents decide.

Jonathan Breeden: Parents decide.

Raena Burch: But like you said, the 12-year-old, if they’re over 12, they have to consent to the adoption.

Jonathan Breeden: Right.

Raena Burch: I would assume that also includes

Jonathan Breeden: Right. But most of the time the kids want to change their name.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: They want it because Right, because they wanna have the same names as everybody else.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: As part of being

Raena Burch: part of the, they wanna be part of the family, like fully part of the family.

Jonathan Breeden: Correct. Correct.

Raena Burch: I get that. I get that.

Jonathan Breeden: So, yeah. So that, I mean, they’re looking at everything. I mean, you know, they’re just trying to make sure that this is what is truly best for the child.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: Right. Not what the parents agree. Right. The, the court’s job in this situation, the [00:16:00] clerk of court is job is to make sure this is best for this child moving forward?

Raena Burch: Yes.

Have family law questions? Need guidance to navigate legal challenges? The compassionate team at Breeden Law Office is here to help. Visit us at www. breedenfirm. com for practical advice, resources, or to book a consultation. Remember, when life gets messy, you don’t have to face it alone.

Raena Burch: All right. So here’s a good question from filing to like the final decree, how long would you say the process takes?

Jonathan Breeden: In Johnston and Harnett Counties can be done in three to six to eight months. In Wake County, it’s running 18 months to two and a half to three years.

Raena Burch: Wow.

Jonathan Breeden: The statute.

Raena Burch: They’re real short on court rooms.

Jonathan Breeden: No, the stat. Well, the clerk’s office is short staffed.

Raena Burch: Yes. Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: Well, they are.

Raena Burch: Understaffed.

Jonathan Breeden: Understaffed or they are choosing to put [00:17:00] staff. Where they’re putting staff.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: So I like, I’m not the clerk of court in Wake County.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: But no Wake County. It can take forever. We’ve had ’em take three years in Wake County. I think 18 months is probably a minimum up there. I know the statute says you’re supposed to do it in six months. That’s not happening in Wake County. It hasn’t, in the entire time I’ve been trying to do adoptions in Wake County, Johnston, Harnett County will move them as fast as you can get them the information.

Raena Burch: And I believe that.

Jonathan Breeden: I think that’s great.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: And I know that both Michelle Ball and Renee Whittenton the clerks in those two counties prioritize getting the adoptions done as quick as possible. So, and if you get a consent from the other parent.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: It goes a lot quicker.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: I mean a lot quicker. So, but some of the other stuff you have to have, you know, that you don’t think about is you have to have certified copies of all the divorce decrees.

Raena Burch: Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Breeden: So the stepparent, if they’ve been married before, you gotta have copies of those divorce decrees. If the mom has been married before, the dad’s been married before, if the actual [00:18:00] parent, you gotta have their divorce decrees.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: You have to have the birth certificate of the parent, social security number of the adopting parent. You have to have you know, just, I mean, it’s a lot of stuff.

Raena Burch: It’s a lot of documentation.

Jonathan Breeden: It’s a lot of documentation that I guess you are who you say you are.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Kind of thing. And that you are basically, you have to prove that you are legally married to your spouse, which means all the other divorces have to be done correctly and timely.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: And we’ve seen where that may not have been the case, which in North Carolina, that’s a whole nother podcast. If you’re not actually divorced or, you know, in a timely manner, the next marriage is void.

Raena Burch: Yeah. It’s not, not legal.

Jonathan Breeden: It’s not legal. And, and so, so, you know, I’ve, I’ve run into that a couple of times.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: So, I, you know, not intentionally.

Raena Burch: No.

Jonathan Breeden: It just, it just happened.

Raena Burch: No, I had a friend that stayed separated for like 10 years. Like the, like the divorce, just, they just never finalized it and they were separated for, I, [00:19:00] it was I think right around 10 years.

Jonathan Breeden: Yeah. So, I mean, it could, like I said, but, but you gotta be able to prove all those types of things.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: You know, basically, so you can show that this marriage sort of a copy of this marriage certificate between the biological parent and the adopting stepparent is there as well. You know, if you’re, if you’re talking about the other kind of adoptions where you got grandparents or, or aunts or uncles or whatever, you know, if both parents consent, that’s great.

If you can’t locate a parent to consent, you could still move forward from an adoption. You have to make. Herculean efforts to try to find them. If you cannot find ’em, you can find an affidavit with the clerk of everything you did to try to find them. We usually try to hire private eyes.

Raena Burch: Yeah,

Jonathan Breeden: we do skip tracing. I mean, we try to find these people. If we are unable to then you can, you can publish

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: An add in the newspaper to notify these, these people.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: And then you can get, if they still don’t respond, you can get the clerk to. Waive their consent.

Raena Burch: Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Breeden: And find that the consent of this parent who is un has not been [00:20:00] located

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: But has been served by publication is not necessary. So, so you don’t absolutely have to know where the child is to where the other parent is

Raena Burch: yes

Jonathan Breeden: to get an adoption.

Raena Burch: Yes. All right. And then last question, and you kind of already touched on this, but like after the adoption finalized, what legal changes occur for the child and the adoptive parent?

Jonathan Breeden: Well, the first thing is get a new birth certificate.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: And the adoptive parent’s name is listed as the father on the birth certificate. And the child, like we said earlier, becomes completely legally the adopting parent. And there is no difference in the law’s mind between the adopting parent and

Raena Burch: the biological.

Jonathan Breeden: The biological parent, they will be treated the same. If they break up, they will owe child support to each other. Custody like I said, we had the one case where the adopting parent ended up getting full custody of the child. So you know, all of those types of things.

But yeah, it’s basically.

Raena Burch: They become legal heirs.

Jonathan Breeden: Legal heir. Right.

Raena Burch: Inheritance.

Jonathan Breeden: Yeah. Heirs. Where the child [00:21:00] will inherit from that parent particularly if the parent doesn’t have a will through the intestate laws. I mean, we did a will not too long ago, Raena, where a guy said he adopted his then wife’s son 30 years ago, hadn’t seen or heard from either one of ’em in 25 years.

Raena Burch: Oh wow.

Jonathan Breeden: But that’s still his child. So in the will we had to say, son John Doe is not to collect anything under this will.

Raena Burch: Wow.

Jonathan Breeden: So that they didn’t get anything at all because they were still, the child’s still, I mean, it’s an adult now, but like.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: But still technically. It was, yeah, this man’s son, even though he hadn’t seen the mom or the kid in 25 years.

Raena Burch: Yeah. Because once an adoption is final, there’s no take backsies, like.

Jonathan Breeden: Well, I mean, people try to.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Right. I mean, that’s another debate for another day. I mean, people do, I mean, they do surrender ’em back to the county and it’s a horrible situation.

Raena Burch: Oh.

Jonathan Breeden: We won’t go into that. No. But yeah. [00:22:00] So, no, but it is your child and that’s, that’s the biggest thing.

Raena Burch: Yep.

Jonathan Breeden: And you know, and they owe the child support. And why? I said the gulp was sometimes they’re sitting here and they kind of wanna do it, but they’re thinking, I don’t know if this relationship’s gonna work and I’m not gonna child support. You know what I mean?

Raena Burch: Yeah. For this kid is to not technically mine, but that I’m taking care of right now.

Jonathan Breeden: Right.

Raena Burch: But for the rest of, so they’re 18. Oh.

Jonathan Breeden: Right. That’s exactly right. That’s exactly right.

Raena Burch: So and when they’re little and you’re, they’re two and you’re talking 16 years, that’s.

Jonathan Breeden: Right.

Raena Burch: You better know, you’re like

Jonathan Breeden: Right. Or or care enough about the child.

Raena Burch: Yes.

Jonathan Breeden: That you want to be the parent.

Raena Burch: Exactly.

Jonathan Breeden: That’s the thing, Raena. Now this is like, you care enough about the child. You want to be the parent, you, regardless of the relationship.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Regardless of whether it works out with the other parent or not. You want that child to be yours and you want to be responsible and you wanna parent that child, then that’s what you gotta be thinking.

And I think you have to be thinking of it separate from the relationship with that parent. Like, this is going to be my child.

Raena Burch: No matter what?

Jonathan Breeden: Relationships. [00:23:00] Relationships come. Relationships go over half a marriage is in and divorce like you gotta believe that this is, you want to do this for this child. You’re bonded with this child.

Raena Burch: Yeah.

Jonathan Breeden: Not anything else. And if it’s not that. Don’t do it

Raena Burch: Exactly.

Jonathan Breeden: Because it’s not fair to the child.

Raena Burch: No, it’s not.

Jonathan Breeden: So if you’re interested in learning more about stepparent adoptions or relative adoptions or any type of adoption please give us a call here at the Breeden Law Office at 9 1 9 6 6 1 4 9 7 0.

Reach out to us at our website at www.breedenfirm.com. Be glad to come in and sit and talk to you about. What your options are or are not as it relates to an adoption. As we mentioned earlier, please like, follow, subscribe to this podcast wherever you see it, and also give us a five star review down below.

It will help with our visibility so other people will be aware of The Best of Johnston County Podcast. Until next time, I’m your host, Jonathan Breeden.

That’s the end of today’s episode of Best of Johnston County, a show [00:24:00] brought to you by the trusted team at Breeden Law Office. We thank you for joining us today and we look forward to sharing more interesting facets of this community next week. Every story, every viewpoint adds another thread to the rich tapestry of Johnston County.

If the legal aspects highlighted raised some questions, help is just around the corner at www. breedenfirm. com.